I wrote a guest post (on Sasstrology) about the 2nd House representing what you do to attract someone. “What you do” changes according to the sign on the cusp of the 2nd House. A member commented that many times the sign ruling the 2nd clashes with the sign ruling the 7th House of partnership.
She was right, but it goes deeper then that. The natural ruler of the 2nd House is Taurus and the natural ruler of the 7th House is Libra. Both signs are ruled by Venus. The 2nd House is about security, values, self esteem and getting what you need (including a partner). The 7th House is about your unacknowledged qualities that you project onto a partner.
These are the two faces of Venus and they do not get along. Taurus says “I should be able to look after myself.” Libra says “But I’m not complete without someone else.” Technically, Taurus and Libra form an inconjunct. This is an aspect that joins two signs with so little in common that a huge amount of adjustment is needed for them to get along. So what does that say about the planet that rules these two signs? Loving yourself and loving someone else is not a natural fit.
The search for security (2nd House) needs to start with yourself. You won’t find what you need (2nd House) by projecting desired qualities onto someone else (7th House). The adjustment involves owning (2nd House) those projected qualities (7th House). In other words, think about what you admire/crave most in other people. Now look inside and you’ll find that quality.
I’m not writing anything new or revolutionary here. We’ve all heard the “love starts at home” spiel. It’s not even the point of this post. The point is that our pursuit of love (Venus) is wired for conflict from the start. We all have to learn how to adjust our needs (2nd House) with our idea of partnership (7th House).