Recognizing And Dealing With Karmic Relationships

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With the whole Venus retrograde thing happening, there’s been discussion about karmic relationships. What are they and how do you recognize them?

When I say “karmic”, I’m talking about someone that you had a significant relationship with in a past life. It doesn’t have to be romantic (although with Venus involved it usually is).  The purpose of your reunion is to clear up unfinished business. For this reason, karmic relationships have conflict at their heart; if everything went swimmingly between you two (in the past) there would be no reason to meet again.

Some karmic relationships are pretty brief and won’t last beyond this retrograde period. That can hurt, especially when one of you is not ready to let go. The best way to deal is to figure out why you’ve come together.  The clue will be in the area of conflict/tension between you. Shift your focus from the pain of separation to what needs to be resolved.

Signs that you’ve encountered a karmic relationship:

  • You’ve just met but feel like you’ve known each other forever
  • There’s a strong attraction (sometimes mixed with a strong repulsion) that goes beyond physical desire

If you get to the point where you’re comparing charts, here’s some guaranteed past-life indicators:

  • Squares or conjunctions from one person’s Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Ascendent to the other’s South Node
  •  Squares or conjunctions from one person’s Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, to the other’s Saturn or Pluto
  • One person’s planets fall into the other’s 12th House

This is not an exhaustive list. But it does describe the most common indicators. I’ve written some in-depth articles here and here on dealing with specific types of past life relationships.


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86 Responses to Recognizing And Dealing With Karmic Relationships

  1. novlady says:

    I met someone during the last Venus Rx. Though brief, it was significant. I remember being deeply affected when it didn’t progress. Just before this current Venus Rx, we had some encounters that have resulted in me realizing he has to be let go. His birth time is uncertain, but my Venus Conjuncts his Saturn and Mars Trine his Saturn. My Moon is also trine his Pluto and my Sun is conjunct his Pluto. There is chance that our Venus’ are in each other’s 12th house (his is definitely in mine along with his Sun).

    It sounds like he is heavy karma for me. He is the Pluto and Saturn and has confirmed planets in my 12th house. His Venus also trines my Sun and my North Node. All this has made me feel like its good karma and it will be his energy primarily calling the shots…??? I made many personal changes after encountering him after the 1st VenusRx. And, now I am still affected by encountering him once again. Is he MY karma? Or, are we each other’s karma? I’ve been resolving to surrender him and let him or circumstances manifest if it is meant to be.

    I remember feeling very crestfallen when we met during a VenusRx reading all over that its not good to meet someone new under a VenusRx. Its only been recently that I have been reading that it could also indicate a past love. But, reading on past loves it seems that Fate controls the destiny primarily and that there may not be longevity attached to these associations. I don’t know if I am interpreting this accurately. I will check out your other articles.

    • novlady says:

      Oh, I do like that you suggest to search at where the conflict is and to resolve it. Its murky in my situation. I would venture to say clear communication and lack of complete disclosure (on his part, maybe). Makes me think its 12th house stuff??? He is Pisces with 3 planets in Capricorn (potentially, his rising, too) and those planets are in his twelfth house (guessing between the time frame he gave for his time of birth). Since, he definitely has planets in my 12th house…

      How does one resolve Karma when immersed in the 12th house? Where is the light house to guide you there?

      • Nadia says:

        12th House karma is tricky because of its hidden nature.
        First step is becoming aware of your own 12th House issues. Look at the planets (if any) that you have in your natal 12th house. Then, even if there’s no planets in your 12th, look at the sign on the cusp of your 12th and the ruling planet of that sign. The house and sign that planet is in (plus connections it makes to other planets in the chart) will tell you what the issues are. Once you have those figured out, you can assume that any planets he has in your 12th are triggers to help you resolve those issues.

        • novlady says:

          Thanks, Nadia. I have no planets in my 12th house. It is ruled by Pisces. My Neptune is in the 8th house and it sextiles my Jupiter and Pluto and Trines my ASC. So, I feel its well aspected. Where would I look from here or can I infer that his karmic effects on me are more beneficial than heavy hitting? My experience of him has helped soften my sensual expression (or at least, deeply desire to continue that exploration for intimacy).

          • Nadia says:

            You’re correct…your 8th House Neptune=merging with another, dissolving boundaries. So, enhanced intimacy. That experience will be delivered via whatever planets he has in your 12th. But that’s just the 12th House part. His Saturn on your Venus/Pluto on your Sun is another part of the karmic lesson.

    • Nadia says:

      You raise some very interesting points here.
      When it comes to determining who is calling the shots, it’s usually the outer planet person. Outer planets are the heavyweights so his Saturn on your Venus and his Pluto conjunct your Sun will push you to evolve. You could certainly say that he’s your karma, although a past life relationship goes both ways, obviously. You, as the inner planet person, will feel the karmic push more intensely than he will. He is the force that causes you to evolve. He’ll experience it more as the urge to exercise his Pluto power (because of the way you express your ego) and his Saturn authority (because of the way you relate to him and express yourself as a woman).
      It’s true that many past life relationships are not meant to be long-term. You’re interpreting that accurately…they all have a purpose and for some that purpose is fulfilled sooner rather than later.

      • novlady says:

        I confess that reading your supporting reply, I instantly felt a gut resistance. I don’t like the idea of someone having that much effect on me without it being reciprocated or mutual. The fact that his heavy hitting planets affect my ego and love nature makes me especially not like the imbalance there. It would seem the very essence of who I am and how I would express myself romantically would be subject to potential dominance (depending on where he would be in his own Saturn/Pluto evolution). Throw in the fact that past-life relationships have a reputation for being short term makes me extra sensitive towards exposing myself any further.

        Thanks for the deeper clarifications. It helps articulate some of the unexplainable that I have been feeling.

        • novlady says:

          I agree with Messy Leo. You are always so great about responding to inquiries. In the future, I will treat myself to a chart reading by you, too.

        • Nadia says:

          Synastry with heavy outer planet contacts can be tough. It’s like he’s a permanent Saturn/Pluto transit on your chart. The upside is that with his Saturn on your Venus he will always feel responsible for you in a romantic sense. His Pluto on your Sun means he will always be driven to figure out what makes you tick.
          I wouldn’t say that past life relationships have a reputation for being short. It’s more like most people’s expectations are that a past life connection will last for the rest of their lives because this person is “the one”. The truth is some are long term, some are not. But most astrologers will stress the fact that there is no guarantee that they will be long term to counter the whole idea that significant means something will last for years.

  2. Messy Leo says:

    Ah, great timing. I also met someone last Spring, when Neptune took a quick dip into Pisces, before it Rx-ed back into Aquarius for a little longer. I have Neptune 1* off my Sag ascendant 1H side, and Cancer Venus in the 7th inconjunct Neptune/asc. So I thought it might be possible that I was just going loopy, because I took one look at this guy and absolutely went off the deep end. I got his b-day, no time, and his Sun is within 2* of my south node in Cap, and he has Sun opposite Saturn in Cancer, so his Sat is conjunct my NN. Anyway, it looks like I’ll be seeing him in a work environment again this Spring, and I really want to focus on how this is supposed to help me because I really seem to lose it around this person (under the surface of course).
    The worst of it is, I’ve been in a long-term relationship that I don’t know how to end. It’s been dragging out for a long time, and I think it’s to the point where I let this person run my life. So I just feel so torn/scared, blech…
    I also want to say again that I love your blog Nadia, and I really respect that you always take the time to respond to people’s comments. I’ve been unemployed since before I started reading it, but come my first paycheck, and you and I are on!

    • Messy Leo says:

      and, his Sun is square my Saturn, and he has Mars/Neptune in my 12th.

    • Nadia says:

      Thanks! I respect the fact that people like you drop by to comment on my posts.
      As for this guy…Saturn conjunct your NN in synastry always means that the Saturn person has a lesson for you. So you need to take a look at your NN in Cancer, the house position and the house/sign that your Moon (ruler of your NN) is in. This will tell you what sort of NN behaviour you should be trying to embrace. His presence in your life is a prompt to move towards your NN via limitations on your relationship with him.

      • Messy Leo says:

        Oh no!
        Moon in 4th house Taurus, exalted, sextile NN within 1*! Are we gonna make a baby???!! JK….. probably!

  3. Amy says:

    Wow, You have a knack for putting things so clearly. Thank you! I’m attracted to a good friend, but it’s unrequited so it’s making me angry and frustrated with him. I want to detach, but the friendship is valuable in many ways so I dont want to lose it. His moon is almost exactly square my Pluto/SN conjunction. His Sun is also square my SN, a few degrees off. My Venus is exactly conjunct his Sun, his Venus falls exactly on my Sun/Moon Midpoint. He’s super affectionate to me, but even that just makes me feel unattractive, rejected, etc., because I want more from him (he doesn’t seem to get that his attentions to me are a little over the top for a platonic friendship). We share so many affinities its uncanny. Instead of it being healing that this wonderful person values me, it’s painful. I have no idea for him, but for me, I think we’ve come together to give me a greater understanding of what’s of value about me so that I push myself to be better in more purposeful ways, but it sure hurts right now… Do you think this is the SN, Pluto, or does the two in combo make this worse? Am I having a similar effect on him in different ways? I really don’t want to hurt him by going all Pluto and ending the friendship to protect myself… Thanks for any insight!

  4. judy says:

    I have had a on-going karmic relationship since early 201o. The thing I have learnt is not to rely on logic nor try to understand what the relationship means as these types of connections cannot be understood in the normal sense.
    I regard my karmic tie as a guiding light. His presence shone a light on the shadows of my failing marriage. I took strength and confidence from our (unrequitted) love connection and found the courage to leave my marriage and follow my own path. I let go of any expectation we would get together as we could not be around each other easily, despite the very obvious attraction to each other, the synchronicity and telepathic communication that often goes with these connections. Through a recent past life regression, I found out it was my actions that lead to his uptimely death! I never saw that one coming (I thought we were fated lovers!), but it explained the ‘frisson’ and I felt relieved I hadn’t ever tried to force an affair, as I would simply be reliving my karma in this life. I’m not sure that means my karma is now cleared – as stated before, it doesn’t pay to try to understand these relationships too much as they’re not logical and answers are very hard to come by – so enjoy it for what it is, a rare love that will help you grow as a person.

    • Nadia says:

      Excellent approach to karmic relationships.
      And you’ve nicely summed up the hidden bugbear of these kinds of relationships…many times the past life connection is pretty traumatic. The best approach to past life relationships is to view them as catalysts that push you to evolve. That takes the pressure off the whole “why can’t we be together” sticking point.

    • novlady says:

      Wow. It was so intriguing to read your post, Judy. How did you go about getting a past life regression? I like how you offer that these connections cannot be understood in a logical sense. I am very analytical, seeking out answers much of the time. Although I am seeking astrological insights, I am learning that much has to be surrendered in these connections…with the emphasis on a higher faith.

      • judy says:

        I got my past life regression from a psychic lady – ask around as many can conduct this type of thing – I was basically feeding back the details from what I saw – it was like unlocking a door and the release was intense. Like you novlady, I am a terrible analyst – I have tried in vain to piece together what I know to no avail. There is no logic in the odd behaviour of a karmic connection – you want to be together yet you want to run a mile at the same time… Dena L Moore is a very good karmic astrologer (she specialises in these connections) who can help you understand so much more. And as for the pain, well you have to learn to live with it I’m afraid. I am told it gets better in time and you eventually view things differently. I am not quite there yet – I have had a week of tears which I am blaming on the eclipse, but also because it has been six months now since I last saw my connection and I still miss him terribly.

  5. D says:

    Hello Nadia,

    Oh, this post is so timely. I have been wrestling with a “relationship” for the past two months. We are friends, sort of and keep advancing and retreating from one another. There was an impact on both sides when we met. His Sun and Mercury (in Aries) square my Cancer Sun, Venus and Mars and his moon (in Virgo) is conjunct my Pluto (first house). His NN is in Aquarius which is my moon sign. I can’t figure this out – what type of lesson/reason do you think this relationship is in my life for.

    Thinking about it all has developed into an obssession for me and that’s something I definitely cannot afford emotionally.

    Thank you very much for any advice at all,


    • Nadia says:

      Since your stellium falls in his 12th and your Pluto is conjunct his Moon you probably scare him a bit. He feels exposed around your (12th House) and overwhelmed but still drawn to you (Moon/Pluto). Your Pluto on his Moon explains the obsession part for you…Pluto’s obsessive tendencies are triggered by his needs/emotions. The lesson for you would be dealing with that Pluto…control, obsession. Pluto in Virgo is about transformation through crisis (triggered by your relationship). Look at the House Pluto is in for more information…

      • D says:

        Hi Nadia,

        We were meant to meet for coffee this weekend. He didn’t show and after waiting for two hours in the cofee shop, I sent him a text. I received a reply saying he had slept badly due to tummy trouble and was just up .

        An hour later through sheer fluke, I saw him walking along the road with a woman – they had just left his house. He lives quite near and I was driving home.

        He saw me and looked shocked and I felt as though someone had stabbed me. I feel so wounded Nadia – I just cannot explain it. The sadness is terrible. I really thought that we would eventually get together,

        the hurt is terrible. How should I deal with this ? How should I look at it ?

        Thank you very much

        I haven’t had any contact with him but feel it’s not over. And yet, the pain is terrible.

        So perhaps I was in line for this karmic

        • Nadia says:

          I’m sorry to read about this. Unfortunately I have no idea how you should deal because I base my observations on astrology and you haven’t given me any data. If you’d like a consultation please go to my Reports page.

  6. D says:

    Hi Nadia,

    Sorry – I should also have added to my note above, my stellium in Cancer (Sun, Venus and Mars) fall (just) in his 12th house.

    Thank you for any insight at all.


  7. El says:

    I’ve been following your blog for some time and I love your writing… especially, as others have mentioned, the direct and no-frills way you explain things… a rarity in modern astrology!

    I have some confusions about south node/north node connections with the asc/desc in karmic relationships, as well as the use of midpoints, that I’m hoping you can illuminate a bit:

    My husband’s SN is conjunct my Asc/Pluto conjunction at 29 degrees Leo (which means his NN is also conjunct my Desc). The midpoint of his Taurus Sun and Venus/Jupiter (in conjunction) is exactly conjunct my SN (9 Taurus), and his Mars (retrograde) is exactly conjunct my NN (9 Scorpio).

    We’ve been together 4 years and I can say that, YES! this is absolutely a karmic situation… one that we are quite aware of in some ways (but not at all in others!) and have chosen to stay with to work it all out (we married last year).

    It is by far, the most difficult work either of us have ever committed to in our lives, and any help we can get in understanding it is more than welcome. I know enough about astrology to understand the karmic indicators, and that has helped a lot with beginning to understand what (and in what life area) our work actually is. But I don’t know enough to unpack the more confusing nature of these tangled “doubled” karmic connections we have.

    As for his SN conjunct my Asc/Pluto, I’m really confused by the doubling of SN/NN and Asc/Desc. On the NN/Desc side, I understand that it means that we are “destined” to be each other’s “other” in this life in some way… but it’s his SN conjuncting my Asc/Pluto that really confuses me… and I will admit, spooks me, too (which probably means that THAT’s the issue I personally need to work on most, huh? Sigh.)

    I’m just really confused by the “both sides constantly activated” nature of this conjunction. And which of us is doing what? It’s as if both sides are always pulling with the same force, but we can’t go one way and forsake the other. Believe me, we’ve tried! but our relationship doesn’t seem to want to let us do that.

    Does this “doubling” mean that we are required to transform our understanding of ourselves in order to be able to live in both places at once?!? As in, do healthy partnership/marriage in the Now (NN/Desc) and scary underworld persona work from the past (SN/Asc/Pluto) at the same time! Heavy sigh…

    On midpoints… do you even consider midpoint connections with the SN/NN in karmic synastry? Even without the midpoint connection, it’s obvious he and I are locked into some really oppositional Taurus/Scorpio – Venus/Mars issues in this life! And that’s exactly how it feels… not only locked together — as both lovers and adversaries, creators and destroyers — but locked and fully loaded. As in, both/all sides activated and firing at once 😉 Again, the doubling thing… what’s needing to be destroyed, and what’s longing to be created… and how the heck do we decide which way to point this thing??

    I guess my main overall questions here are how does one go about gaining some understanding and direction from such weirdly “doubled” situations as the SN/NN – Asc/Desc conjunction as well as a SN/NN – Venus/Mars connection? And, what is the significance of midpoints in karma if any, and would you interpret them differently than a conjunction to a planet or point?

    Thank you for any insight you’re willing to give on this!

    [After writing this, I think it’s time to schedule a full reading with you 😉 I’ll definitely be in touch on that…]

    • Nadia says:

      His SN conjunct your AC/Pluto means your way of expressing your powerful identity is familiar/comfortable for him. It falls in line with the understanding of power he came into this life with. His NN conjunct your DC means that the type of partnerships you are drawn to (ones that take the focus off of you…that liberate you from your identity) describe the kind of energy he should be working towards. Moving away from “me first” energy to energy that takes in the bigger picture. More information on his NN tasks can be uncovered by looking at the house/sign position for his Uranus. This relationship with you is what he needs to evolve. You feel it too (obviously) but you’re his catalyst.

      His Mars conjunct your Scorpio NN is your catalyst; his “maleness”, the way he expresses his will, is the flag for you to follow in embracing the Scorpio archetype of fearless intimacy/transformation. More info. on your NN path can be discovered by looking at the house/sign for your Pluto. Note that his Mars Rx is very internalized…so this deepens the Scorpio exploration.

      As for midpoints and nodal contacts…midpoints function a bit differently because a conjunction and opposition are considered the same. So his Sun/Venus/Jupiter midpoint can be viewed as contacting your South and North Node. It’s more like a contact to your Nodal Axis rather than a specific SN contact. It simply means he is your loving, positive, fated connection. If his Sun/Venus/Jupiter is opposite his Mars, this polarity with his relationship planets (Taurus security versus Scorpio fearlessness) is what drew you to him and is the catalyst for your evolution.

  8. El says:

    This was incredibly helpful! Thank you. And interesting about midpoints… I didn’t think about them as being “a contact to your Nodal Axis rather than a specific SN contact.”

    As I said, I’ll be in touch for a reading…

  9. Cancer girl says:

    Met someone where my Pluto touched every single planet of his as well as the mc and Asc it was awful I still don’t get the lesson I will never speak to him which was a result of him getting married to someone else at my place of business he said it was a coincidence where I thought it was a huge sign we were meant to be ugh

  10. rp says:

    Dear Nadia,

    I met a guy in april and fell for him after talking to him for few weeks. Then I was thinking why do I feel all these feelings towards him. I have never felt like this for any other guy before. My birthday is 17/7/1983 and his birthday is 02/10/1976 but I don’t know the birth times. Hope you can help me to understand this connection.


  11. Eva Walters says:

    Hello all,
    I wonder, about karmic relationship.
    I thought Ploto/Sun and Pluto/Moon Pluto/Pluoto, trines and sextiles are carmic, are they? can any one please tell me.?
    I also know my Venus is in his 7th and 8 house, but no clue where my Venus is to his house. He has Cancer rising, Sun in the 12 th house, I am Libra rising Libra moon is my second house Sag Sun in my third house, Venus in Capricorn, his Venus is in Cancer. Thank you so much if you explain.

    • Nadia says:

      Pluto contacts insynastry are karmic, but the hard aspects (square, conjunction, opposition) will make themselves felt. The softer aspects (trines, sextiles) are there for support.

  12. Maya says:

    Hello Nadia, I was told that after I burn the karma from my prevous life or “pay my past bills”, there will be significant changes in the areas of my life that have been blocked so far. Do you agree that it is possible to burn karma?

    • Nadia says:

      Sure. If you make an effort to understand the dynamics between you and another, and then not fall into the same past life patterns, you can definitely resolve old karmic debts.

  13. Lily says:


    Interesting article. I am in a situation that feels laden with karma and like I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. My sun conjuncts the guy’s saturn/pluto square. Pluto being in the 12th, saturn in the 9th. His south node is 5 degrees away from my sun. His neptune also quincunxes my sun.

    He has a cancer south node, capricorn north node, pluto in libra.

    Our moons and mercuries conjunct. It seemed we understood each other quite deeply, but at a point he simply flipped in the midst of some personal crises (during the venus Rx). His sun is in my 12th house.

    He’s kept me in the dark, clueless, changing his tune as to why he distanced himself yet remaining silent all throughout. I so very much want to move past this and get on with my life, but there has been no resolution. It’s like he’s holding me in suspension.

    I have sought to understand this dynamic of my sun on his saturn/pluto square, neptune quincunx. I feel as though I triggered parts of that 12th house pluto and he overwhelmed too easily with me, then just pushed me away without logical reasons.

    This isn’t a conjunction to the skipped step (pluto), but a square to it, and a conjunction to the south node nonetheless. Any ideas on how this can be interpreted?

    His sun is in a very wide conjunction to my north node. At this point I am seeking past life regression therapy to try and overcome the situation on my own since he won’t cooperate.

    • Lily says:

      I should clarify, my sun is in cancer conjunct his saturn and south node.

    • Nadia says:

      5 degrees is a bit wide for a SN conjunction (with the Nodes, we don’t usually consider an aspect beyond 3 degrees).
      I can’t really comment on all the dynamics between you (since I haven’t seen your charts) but if his Sun is in your 12th House it’s no surprise you feel in the dark. This is a blind spot for most people (12th House). Past life regression therapy sounds like the right path for you since his Sun in your 12th is a recent past life connection.

  14. Sukanya says:

    Would you guys mind checking the Kramic relationship between below two, will it work or not – hell :

    Female 26 Feb 1979 04:15 AM India
    Male 26 July 1977 02:34 PM Malaysia

  15. Confused Leo says:

    Thank you for this! I will have to see if I can draw up my person’s chart. He is a Capricorn and in Chinese astrology a Dragon. I’m a Rooster there. Like Messy Leo, this is a man at work who.., we have been struggling hard with each other for most of this year. It’s been gut-wrenching for me, but spiritually I’ve made progress, which has been a major goal for me since before this all started, so kudos to this situation for helping me achieve this much! In non-astrological terms, he is painfully shy, so that is what is making things so painstaking, confounded communication, lol!

  16. saturnine says:

    hello nadia,

    i came upon this researching saturn contacts between me and this boy. first time i met him it was terrifying and wonderful, his voice sounded so familiar. i forgot about him and he found me online and everything came back. songs he would post, the art he makes just like mine, similar ideas, everything had a significant place in my past (this life), things that i have been drawn to forever. communication came slowly,but i felt like we were always thinking of each other. we quickly realized we had similar goals. but everytime we would meet one of us would run away from the other in fear because the attraction was so strong. this kept happening over and over until he invited me to work with him, and it was one of the smoothest experiences. we have a natural affinity for agreement, even when we do play devils advocate its out of concern and growth, and even this is rare.

    but things got more intense, i tried to become a little physical and although he wanted to, he told me was in a relationship, but that he cant forget every detail about us, that he never wants me to think it isnt real, that since he met me hes ‘felt’ me. i respected this and distanced myself because we were still friends, but he kept getting closer. he came home with me one night and we were wasted and tried to have sex but couldnt, it didnt feel like the timing was right (so many situations have prevented us from this before, but we keep trying to come back). i think he felt guilty abt kind of cheating, but he didnt leave my side for that whole day.

    i came across info about twin flames and it just rings too true. wayy too many synchronicities, we’ve switched places and just missed each other, been where we each grew up and felt something before knowing it. dreamt abt each other while sleeping next to each other (and often otherwise). text each other right as the other is about to. its extremely karmic for sure. but a psychic, although i was sending nervous vibes, told me to stay away, that hes bad energy and i will just get hurt because i left him in a previous life. this brings me so much pain, and although i know hes with someone else and continue to respect this, our capacity to bring people together so well with genuine mutual respect tells me its definitely not over.

    n node-cap

    ascendant-(not sure but most likely taurus)
    n node-cap

    any help would be appreciated. i think i know that career right now is most important. but he has helped me grow so much and i have done the same for him. it feels too mutual and synchronized to simply be debt, weirdly enough, my intuition says he loves me, even though we cant be together right now.

    • Nadia says:

      You’ve given me way too much information here for me to answer this in the comments section. If you’d like a consultation, please visit my Astrology Reports page.

  17. Lili says:

    Hi, I started working in a hospital, there I met a guy sat just beside me. he was shrewd and calculating in some ways, I hated him for same reason, but we were both attracted. Although I never got involved with him, but he had profound affect on me.
    I tried to maintain lots of distance, because he was sarcastic and had sharp tongue (his mercury in scorpio and i am mercury in libra) but he tried to manipulate me. I could see his eyes very magnetic as if trying to peep in to my soul. I had sense that he has a crush on me but i had a hard time trusting him. we fought sometimes were never in good terms with each other and hardly spoke despite sitting right next to each other. he was also sometimes possessive, attention seeking and controlling fierce person. I never got influenced from him and neither given to his ways. Finally he got me terminated from the job.
    His sun, mercury, venus fall in my 12th house.
    His sun, mercury, venus conjunct my ascendant in Scorpio. our moons are trine his capricorn and I am virgo.
    my venus and moon in virgo, our neptune and pluto are similar because he is a year older to me. he is aries ascendent and i am libra sun.
    I always felt i was in a roller coaster ride with him! phew……

  18. orchid says:

    Hi. I love your site. I have a quick question: Do I need the birth time of my partner to see if we have a karmic relationhip?

    I did the chart without our birth time and we did have conjuction between planets you mentioned in your post- Sun-Pluto conjunction. Mercury-Pluto conjunction, etc. I was told by psychic that this is a karmic relationship. We have to end our relationship soon because of his religion. In our past lives, we were in love but could not be together (first time, I let him go to protect him; second time, because our family wont approve). I refuse to believe it that we cant be together again so I’m trying to understand reincarnation, astrology, and karmic relationships. My heart is aching each day thinking our relationship will end eventually. And yes, our first meeting was like a magnet, and I never felt like that with anyone. We met two days (May 14- 1:15am) before Venus went retrogade last year. Thanks..

    • Nadia says:

      Birth time helps, but it’s not necessary. You can still see some connections to the Nodes.

      • orchid says:

        I was convinced this person is my soulmate because of our chemistry and we rarely argue, but again I was told this is a karmic relationship. Does astrology say anything about this person being your soulmate, or possibly your soulmate, or we were meant to meet each other earlier in life but we just missed each other? I’m trying to do my research before I make any major decision.. Thanks..

        • Nadia says:

          Yes, astrology can tell you all these things. But the concept of a “Soulmate” has become a bit blurry. According to Evolutionary astrology (which is is what I practice) actually connecting with your Soulmate is very, very rare. Rather, most people connect with others they have had past life relationships with, in order to finish up old business. These past life partners are not necessarily your Soulmates. An actual Soulmate connection involves two people who have been doing evolutionary work on their own (developing their own spiritual journey) and have met to continue learning about themselves, and their individual spiritual development, through their relationship. But as I said….it is rare.

  19. Olga says:

    I want to ask about the following synastry combo:
    What could it mean ?
    my venus conj my anti vertex -0°54 natal
    his vertex square my venus 0°26s
    his venus 0°28s / sun 2°17s conj my vertex
    his anti vertex conjunct my sun moon midpoint 2°23s
    vertex square vertex 1°120 s
    we have some squares to pluto and saturn as well but i am mainly interested in vertex
    Thank you in advance

  20. Amanda says:

    I’m going on a first date with a men I met online (he’s married and I am in a long term relationship). We text throughout the day and there seems to be a connection.

    My Saturn is conjunct to his Mercury, Venus, Mars and Uranus and my Pluto is conjunct to his Mercury, Mars and Uranus.

    Now I wonder if I should go on this date as this synastry might mean that this could get way messier than the friends with benefits type of thing we are looking for.

  21. jenna says:

    Hi Nadia,
    I found your blog while researching about nodes in synastry. I’m confused about the difference between a square to the NN vs. a conjunction. What is the difference and how are those felt, respectively?
    Thanks in advance!

    • Nadia says:

      A square to the NN is a skipped step…an issue that you must confront before you can work with your NN. A conjunction to the NN is something that will enable your NN. It’s nothing that you have to confront, you just have to move outside of your habits/comfort zone and work with whatever energy the NN planet represents.

      • jenna says:

        Interesting….the way I’m learning about the nodal axis is that it’s like an arc, with the SN and NN at opposite side. The squared body would be in the middle of the arc, and conjuncted body at either axis. If one goes from SN to NN, they must stop by the squared body before they reach the conjuncted body….is this the correct way to view it?

        Would it be correct then to assume that the square is more powerful and draws you more than the conjunction? Does this mean that one must deal with a relationship encompassing a personal planet square NN before he/she deals with one that has a NN conjunction?

      • Rein says:

        What does it means when planets conjunct the south node?

  22. jenna says:


  23. Mec says:

    I pulled in someone where his Cancer Moon falls in my 12th, his Libra Sun/Pluto are conjunct my NN, his Leo Saturn is conjunct my Asc and opposite my Moon. My Libra Pluto squares his Cancer Mars and is opposite his Sun.

    His Progressed Sun and Moon squares my Natal Moon.

    He’s been “playfully” talking to me in the affirmative…so familiar…as though we’re already together and about to set up house…I’m a little weirded out by it but also intrigued…

    Whats the deal with this contract? I have Neptune issues so I feel like I have to be somewhat wary here.

    • Nadia says:

      His Sun/Pluto on your NN are prompts for you to move forward into whatever area (the house in your chart that Libra is in) the NN suggests. Libra is about balance and harmony with another. Learning how to be aware of another’s needs.

  24. 17 says:

    Hey Nadia I’ve got a really interesting thing here help me here a little. My tenth house has Saturn/mars conjunction in Scorpio sign it squares Sun/Venus/Jupiter in Aquarius ascendant. and my husband has Saturn in fourth house square mars in seventh house in Scorpio sign. Do you see a karmic relationship here? does it mean we have the same karma for this life or were we related in our past lives? My hubby also has Venus-retro/Sun/Mercury in sixth house in Libra sign.

    • Nadia says:

      Karmic relationships are indicated by aspects to the South Node, or planetary crossovers in the 12th House. Just having planets that connect in Scorpio is not an indicator of a karmic relationship.

  25. Sag rising says:

    Hi Nadia ,
    One of my family member’s south node is conjunct my ascendant in the synastry chart. Does this mean that this is a karmic relationship on my family member’s end, my end or both equally?

    Thank you!
    Sag rising

    • Nadia says:

      Both. When there is a SN connection in synastry, the past life relationship goes both ways. The Node person may feel it more strongly though.

  26. Scorpio Lady Jessica says:


    So I have met someone (TAURUS 05/20) over the summer of last year things seemed to be going well. I am a (Scorpio 11/19). For some reason I found out he had told me several lies. I was not happy about this type of behavior. I told him from the beginning I do not like to be lied too especially if we are going to be friends.

    He continued on lying to me about where he sleeps, and where he has been so I got tired of the mess did my own investigation told him what Ive found out and he was speechless and started to distance himself away from me, which is cool. Since then he told me that he wanted to be just friends and that he has a lot of love me but he doesn’t show it. We really can’t stand to even look at one another . I am now having a change of heart about our friendship. He only seemed to want sex nothing else. I am tired of the late night calls, disappearing, not texting for days, and standing me up. At this point I have given up but now he is pulling closer to me but I am not responding.

    Is he my karma?

  27. Rein says:

    What does it means when my pluto ascendant in scorpio conjunct his south node in scorpio? His saturn conjunct my ascendant and his north node conjunct my descendent and sun in taurus 6 degrees far?

  28. Rein says:

    I mean what do you think about our past life story?

  29. Rein says:

    My sun taurus and his sun and north node taurus is also conjunct my descendant.

  30. Angela OConnor says:

    Hello Nadia, thank you for this posting, it is brilliant 😀 I am wondering though about family members dynamics. My sons’ sun, moon and mars is falling in my 12th house… and I most say it is really difficult to deal with him most of the time. I know that there is a lesson for me to learn here, one that I have been dealing with most of my life which is drawing the line, standing firm and issues of respect and appreciation for my person, position and things. He being my son I have been more tolerant than perhaps I should be… but of course I want the best for him in life… still he doesn’t seem to understand and I am exhausted in dealing with him. He is 22 now, old enough to learn how to take care of his own affairs without my help… really at this point I feel that I am compromising my self with the situation. So could you give any insight how to let it all go… give him and me space to live peacefully and still salvage my relationship with my son?

    Thank you kindly,


  31. Diane says:

    I had an astrologer (very prominent) recently do a chart with me and my ex, whom I still am not over. He is Virgo and his Saturn is in my 1st House Sag, where I also have Venus. She circled those planets and wrote “Karmic” next to them then wrote a note “South Node – you owe him something karmically he’s here to collect”. What did she mean by that? I really want to contact her but she is very expensive to speak with and I just can’t afford it right now. Can you please shed some light on this?

  32. Natasha says:

    I know a man since last 4/5 years he is 4 years older than me both of us are married they are our family friend ,
    surprisingly my southnode conjuncted , his sun saturn and mercury ,his moon conjuncted my sun ,his saturn square my sun,his venus inconjuncted my node ,my sun inconjuncted his neptune .,composite sun, venus and more 3 planets are in 12th house he is very much attracted to me can you explain the cause.

  33. Shanta says:

    Hi Nadia, I se this blog post is living again, so one question: How do you see the composite NN? do you see the composite NN as a point of purpose? And a natal planet (if any) conjunct composite NN as a “driver” sort of. Or is it also the natal planet that is evolving through the composite NN

    • It’s the path a relationship can take to evolve. The Composite Sun is the purpose, which is often easier to manifest than the North Node (since the NN is outside the couple’s comfort zone). Any natal planet conjunct the Composite NN suggests that person has a significant impact on the relationship’s evolution.

  34. Michelle says:

    I have had a very on / off relationship complicated for a few years . Saturn in scorpio has been in our 7tg house of relationships so unsure if it’s this . My chiron and mecury conjuncts his taurus sun . My karma asteroid conjuncts his north node.

    Neither of us understand how we get drawn back chance meetings etc . Really tough really tough

  35. Colleen says:

    Heya! I’ve been doing some research on the synastry between a friend and myself, and I was wondering on your take of nodal axes that square each other. (mine NN 11deg Cancer, his NN 8 deg Aries) Can’t seem to find anything on-line on how someone’s nodal axis would manifest as a skipped step. Or is it only influential when it conjuncts one’s own ‘skipped step’ (in my case Jupiter 10 deg Aries/IC 12 deg Aries- my nodes don’t conjunct any of his planets).

    And thanks for your blog! Always has food for thought. :)

  36. Grace says:

    Hi Nadia, Thanks for this post, I’m struggling with a past relationship and that was actually what brought me to this article as I began suspecting the relationship to be karmic and it seems I have my confirmation:

    His Moon squares my South Node by 0°02
    His Mars squares my South Node by 0°42

    My saturn is: in opposition to his moon -1°45, square his mercury by -5°00 and conj. his mars by 2°29.

    His pluto is in opposition to my Sun by -4°18s and ASC by -3°41s

    My Moon falls in his 12th house conj his ASC by 3°18s

    His Moon falls in my 12th house.

    I can’t simply walk away from this person and he is the father of my son and although I’ve reached this point where I don’t feel like settling for anything that does not involve strong companionship and respect for one another, where I am in love and feel loved by the other person… too often when I’m with him I begin feeling a little hopeless, the physical attraction is strong, and sometimes I start to feel I’ll never like anyone that much. Any insight regarding the karmic lessons/subject at play, would be great.

    ps – Also, I see the compatibility report here, does that analyze the Karmic nature of the synastry or is it just a regular synastry? The other consultations are way to steep for me atm.

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