As we swim through Pisces season, I'm thinking about the sacrifices people make in relationships. There's the obvious ones, like getting (and staying) involved with someone abusive. But what about the not so obvious ones, like settling for less because you're tired of being alone?
This is not the same as being a grown-up and realizing that you have to give up that cherished relationship fantasy. When you settle into a sacrifice, you settle into a relationship where you know you could do better, but you think it's too late. And there's a huge difference between making a sacrifice because you love someone, and making a sacrifice because you've given up.
- You support your partner financially because they are not motivated to work (but they're still a really nice person) - note that this is not the same scenario as one partner staying home to look after the kids...I consider both partners to be working in this case
- Your partner is just not on the same wavelength as you emotionally/intellectually/physically (but you stay with them because they love you/look after you)
- Your partner treats you with kindness and you have a nice home/family, but they just don't respect what you do for a living (and they don't rub this in your face, but they've made the odd comment)
These examples are full of grey areas, all dependent on your values. Some people are perfectly happy to pay all the bills. Someone else may not give two hoots what their significant other thinks about their work. But if financial equality is one of your core values and you end up with someone who can't (or won't) contribute, then you're settling.
Is it a bad thing to settle? It's not the end of the world. But if you have to keep telling yourself that you can live without ___ in your relationship, you may be drifting into Pisces Shadow territory. You repeat to yourself that "This is ok, I'm being realistic by giving up ___."
See how shifty Pisces can be? It skews reality, even when you're trying your damnedest to be real. I've said this before, but when in doubt, go back to your personal truth.